When I learned “Brave” would be the theme for the conference I had been asked to speak at I nearly changed my mind about it. I just wasn’t sure how my message to teen girls about identity and worth would connect… at least not in the way I tend to think of “brave.”
When I hear “brave,” I think “strong.” But for teen girls living under such enormous pressure to be perfect what they didn’t need to hear from me was how to live brave or strong. They were already trying to do that by always only putting their best foot forward and still feeling as if it wasn’t good enough. What they needed then was not one more law-laced imperative to measure their performance against, they needed to know they could stop striving and rest in God’s unmerited acceptance just as they are.
So after thinking more about the theme, I decided it fit perfectly. The girls did need to be brave – just not in the way we tend to think.
They needed to brave to be weak!
I know weakness is not exactly something we aspire to. But consider the freedom found in Paul’s words in the 2 Corinthians.
“My grace is sufficient for you; for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Did you catch that? We don’t have to be strong, In fact, we can stop trying because it is in our weakness that we see more of who God is for us!
If only we “got” how freeing this is. But in our Western ways no one wants to be weak or live dependent on anyone. Perhaps that’s why we skip right past the parts of God’s word that runs counter to our desire for self-sufficiency and strength, camping out instead on verses like “Be strong and courageous,” which by the way we often read out of context.
But I believe author Barbara Duguid in her book Extravagant Grace got it right when she said,
God thinks that you will actually come to know and love him better as a desperate and weak sinner in continual need of grace than you would as a triumphant Christian warrior who wins each and every battle against sin.”
Talk about turning our way of thinking on it’s head!
That’s how it is in God’s economy – the truly strong and brave are those living dependent on him, on his strength. Not the ones striving in their own effort to live victoriously. Even so we Christians keep trying to pull ourselves together with “live strong” pep talks that sound all too similar to the “just do it” philosophy of this world.
Why is it that in our Christian culture that talks so much about being authentic we still refuse to admit our need or that we aren’t as strong (or as good) as we want others to think we are?
Why do we hide the extent of our sin, and only share bits and pieces of the surface level struggles (or those things we’ve already conquered)?
Why do we whitewash our trials in such a way that makes us look strong to others in our pain for trusting God to work them for good, even when we struggle to believe that’s true in that very moment?
I think it’s because we’ve been led to believe that a good Christian is always strong, and that it’s wrong to experience doubt, or to stay stuck in periods of sadness or depression. And we think admitting to struggling with temptation will make us look like “bad” Christians, weak in faith.
But God says in our brokenness and weakness is where he wants us to stay because that’s when we live needy of him. To live as if we are strong or have it all together doesn’t require a Savior, and quite frankly that’s how we often live.
So my main message to the girls was this:
It’s easy to give the impression we aren’t weak, and don’t struggle with sin or insecurity. What’s not easy is to live fearlessly broken: To boast in our weakness.
But to boast in our weakness and live truly brave is to see…
- We don’t have to create and maintain a perfect image on social media or IRL – Because our identity is wrapped up in his.
- We can be vulnerable to admit how we are really doing instead of portraying to others that we don’t struggle – Because his perfect record is ours.
- We can express our true emotions instead of acting like we have to be happy all the time – Because he draws near to the brokenhearted.
- We can embrace others in their sin with compassion and grace – Because know we are in the same boat.
Jesus came for the weak and needy, not the strong and sufficient. So you can stop trying to be strong. You can let go of the pretenses and find rest in the One who is strong for you.
“I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me… For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “
