“For unto us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
Normally for me the focal point of this familiar verse is Jesus as the Prince of Peace. For in this dark and broken world, we long for peace and the hope of it. But this week as I read this verse again, it was one of the other names given to Jesus that took my thoughts captivate.
Never before had I truly pondered what it means that Jesus is our Wonderful Counselor. But now that I’m training to be a counselor and have my first intern semester under my belt, this name held new meaning for me.
Typically, people who go to counseling regularly look forward to their counseling session. They have deep trust of their counselor and feel safe in that space. Often, clients leave a session with new insight and feeling less weighted down. Or, at the least, feeling heard and cared for. Many might talk about how much they love their counselor and credit their counselor with saving them. And yet no counselor, no matter how good, can fix or save anyone. Only Jesus can do that.
Right away then, in Jesus we have a counselor like no other. But as I thought about basic counseling skills and characteristics of a good counselor, Jesus supersedes in every way, only I’m not so sure we see how he embodies every quality. If we did, why would we not turn to him all the time?
In order to highlight how and why Jesus is our Wonderful Counselor, I want to highlight five qualities (though there are more) that are key to the therapeutic relationship between counselor and client.
Empathy: When a counselor reflects understanding of a client’s emotional state and shows compassion, a bond of trust and safety forms. Furthermore, empathy helps a client gain more self-understanding. But with our own presuppositions, beliefs, and sin nature, counselors are not perfectly empathetic. We do not always verbally or nonverbally communicate with discernment and care. But Jesus does. Jesus understands each of us intimately, more than we can discern our own hearts. And because he does, he knows exactly how to enter in with us and what we need.
Unconditional Positive Regard: Counselors are called to be accepting of all clients and treat them with positive regard. But let’s be honest, as sinful humans with biases and annoyances we don’t naturally love all people well. Just one reason why we all need Jesus! For Jesus though, no personality, disposition, or even sinful behavior pushes him away. He welcomes each of us with loving-kindness and grace.
Congruence: Congruence calls counselors to be authentic to self. In other words, how I appear in the counseling room should genuinely reflect my inward being. Playing the role of counselor should not be just a “hat” I put on. Rather, being truly me, including the transparent sharing of my own thoughts or feelings, serves to build trust and rapport with my clients.
While this is the standard, as humans, our words and actions don’t always perfectly align to what’s going on inside of us. Again, not so with Jesus. He, being fully God, came in the flesh and lived a sinless, perfect life. His human nature matched his holy deity. And the reason even he came to suffer in life and death is because of his genuine love for us.
Listener: Counselors are called to listen and yet there is so much we miss. We don’t have ESP and can’t read between lines. Furthermore, counselors have their own worries, so at times our minds drift on to ourselves and we check the clock ready to wrap up. But Jesus listens intently always and never fails to understand. He is not distracted or too busy to focus. He wants us to share our hearts with him as often and as long as we will.
Hope: Counselors long to instill hope in their clients. One way of doing this is helping clients capitalize on coping skills to increase perseverance. Another way is connecting clients to resources (people, community programs, tangible goods, etc). But true hope is found only in Jesus. Nothing else is ever-lasting or has the power to save and transform. Therefore, he alone is the ultimate resource. For “the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10
So why don’t we go to him as our counselor?
We don’t know his character! And we struggle to believe he really is that good. Instead, we fear he will judge or be angry with us. And yet, he is the only One who fully accepts us.
Nothing shocks him or takes him off guard. Nothing prevents him from understanding everything about us. And no sin or shame is too big for the Wonderful Counselor to welcome us to his throne room.
In fact, to all who are unfaithful, he says, “Come.”
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27
In this coming year may we turn more quickly to Jesus and find in him a counselor like no other.
