Why Our Daughter Got A Tattoo {and we allowed it}

Yesterday my daughter and husband took a road trip to her soon to be college town. She was excited to show him the campus, but it wasn’t the primary reason for their quick day trip. The real reason is not something most would believe. In fact, when I told my friend what they were doing, she laughed and said something to the effect of:

“Wow. I could’ve guessed a million things they might be doing and that never would’ve been one of them!“

It’s true – I don’t know of another father/daughter duo bonding over tattoos. But that is exactly what they did.

If you are friends with our daughter, you’ve likely already seen the picture of her new tattoo on social media, or maybe heard about it from your child.  While her generation thinks it is super cool, I would be naive to think it is not also raising some eye-brows.

I understand. I have no personal desire to ink my body and honestly, for most of my life looked down on those who did. But growing in my understanding of grace has caused me to see my tendency in the past and still sometimes now to base (or judge) someone’s spiritual walk in ways not congruent with the gospel.

Why is it when Jesus gives freedom and grace, we still prefer to impose our own laws and live by absolutes more in line with the Pharisees than Christ? (And, yes, I’m including myself in this!)

Take drinking for instance. In some Christian circles even adults are judged for drinking. Or, we may even hide our drinking from our children as if it were wrong, instead of modeling for them how it can be enjoyed in moderation by adults. 

So in regard to my view on tattoos what I’ve come to see is that for many, including my daughter, it’s not just a tattoo: It’s symbolic of her story.

She wanted a tattoo to serve as a memorial. Much like the Israelites in the Old Testament set up markers to permanently remember God’s faithfulness, this is what her tattoo is for her.

Last year she came forward publicly in her battle with an eating disorder hoping that despite her own brokenness she could help others also struggling. What she knew to be true about an eating disorder, is it’s not really about the food. Controlling or abusing the intake of food points to something far deeper. That emptiness and lack of joy she knew too well I believe will drive her life story as she seeks to love and minister to others in that same boat.

She now sees how what she was really seeking was identity and worth in things other than God. And when the Instagram “likes,” looking great in Lulu leggings and being seen at all the fun weekend gatherings didn’t deliver, life spiraled out of control. She began to view God as either withholding good or judging her for how she failed.

By His grace, this is not where she is now. She sees the lies for what they are and is being transformed {daily} by his truth. She now sees how He was perfect for her and who she is in Him as her true identity!  

Getting her story straight has expanded her understanding of His love and grace in such a way that she never wants to go back to the chains of guilt and shame.

And thus, the “grace” that marks her. His story of grace shaping her story. And I have no greater desire for her!