Another springboard post from A Star is Born. I can’t help it, after rewatching the movie before the Oscars, a scene hit me that I want everybody to watch (or rewatch). It’s the conversation between Ally’s (Lady Gaga) manager, Rez, and her husband Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) after Jackson returned from rehab.
***Spoiler Alert***
It’s the conversation that would literally be the death of Jackson.
Take a minute to watch.
https://youtu.be/5eTdDPoRMyY
Rez’s words aimed like an arrow hit Jackson at the core. You could see it in his face- life seeping out of him. It didn’t matter that what Rez said was far off from what Ally thought. Jackson would never know because in an instant Rez’s words formed the false narrative in his head that led him later that same night to take his life.
In actuality only Jackson is responsible for his final actions. But this proves to be a powerful scene in pointing out two reasons for watching our words and ways.
- The power of our words and ways on others.
- The power of our own words on ourselves.
The Power of Our Words and Ways on Others
Like Rez, we say things without considering the effect on others. Well, actually much of the time we are very aware of the reason we shoot daggers from our mouths and secretly lay snares. We want to make someone else hurt. Maybe they’ve hurt us. Or we are jealous, but we don’t love our neighbor as ourselves with our words and ways because who we really care most about is ourselves!
In fact, because we are so often only thinking about ourselves, we also hurt others unintentionally with no awareness. We say things that are insensitive, or off the cuff. Or, maybe we humiliate someone in front of a group, just for a laugh. Or, we fail to initiate conversation or include someone standing off to the side alone. This makes even an adult feel insecure, is it any wonder our kids feel insecure?
The ways we mistreat others because of our own self-obsession, self-first, self-only mindset fractures friendships and boils up insecurities. And it is also spiking self-harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and suicide. Our words and ways matter.
The Power of Our Own Words on Ourselves
Now consider we are Jackson in the clip from above. We hear something and automatically it informs our understanding of what’s true. Maybe someone unfriended/unfollowed you on social media, didn’t invite you to the GNO (girls night out) or worse, your child was excluded. Just like words that have made us feel unloved, unaccepted, dismissed, and belittled, these things hurts. And very quickly without some serious gospel self-talk we spiral downward with the lies, just like Jackson.
So what does gospel self-talk mean?
It means we preach the gospel to ourselves! No one talks to you more than YOU talk to you, so what you say to you is crucial. What we need to hear when daggers of accusation and lies are coming at us is the truth about who Jesus is for us and who we are in him.
Jesus understands our hurts. He was mocked, betrayed, brutally assaulted and killed. Because he was, he enters into our pain and is doing something about it.
He is making all things new, though in this world we will suffer. But not to fear- this is not our home. Our treasure is bound up in heaven with him. Even now though we are covered in his righteous robes. He lived the perfect life for me and died in my place so I could be clothed in his identity.
So others may not like me. They may even try to destroy me, but I am deeply loved by God. And his opinion is the only one that matters.
I know all this is easier said then believed. Believe me, at times I remind myself again and again and still feel bitter. So, I’m not suggesting preaching the gospel is like a magic bullet that frees us of pain. But speaking the gospel to our hearts helps to reorient us back to what is true.
For the truth of the gospel though to be louder than the lies we must know and hear the gospel regularly — weekly at church, through time in God’s word and in fellowship with other believers who point us to his word. And by the power of the gospel and his grace in our lives may we speak life – not death – into the hearts of others.
Stay tune for a part II next week: Why Are We Crushed By the Words of Others?
