As Christians we say we trust God and credit Him with being in control. He is of course, but oh how we jockey to take the reins. It’s apparent in how we act, despite what we say we believe. And for some twisted reason we really do act as if we can run things better ourselves.
I’m writing this for me. Because at this moment my daughter is making a five hour trip across state lines for a leadership retreat at her summer camp. It’s something she has been looking forward to since last summer when she was selected to lead her tribe as “princess” this coming summer. When she told me then all the guy and girl “chiefs” and “princesses” for each term would come together for a weekend in the spring I agreed it sounded fun. But now it’s here, I had a million reasons why she didn’t have to go.
The real reason I didn’t want her to go though is my own anxiety over her being on the highway for that lenghty of a trip. But if I tease this out even further the root of it is my lack of control. Without me being there I can’t protect her. I can’t guide her, give her directions, make sure she doesn’t run out of gas, get hit by debris, run off the road or end up in accident.
I know I’m only kidding myself in thinking my presence could prevent these things from happening anyway. But turning over the keys to her… ultimately God is not easy. In fact, trusting God with our kids has got to be one of the hardest things in life.
It doesn’t matter what age they are, because anything new or out of our control can create fear in us as parents. I remember when we moved and my kids had to walk in to new schools in the middle of the year. Everything and everyone was unfamiliar to me and all of the sudden my kids were being invited to go places with people I didn’t know. Trusting God was hard.
It felt like that many times before, has many times since and will continue to be (especially come August when she goes to college). But today it hit me that even though I know God is in control and nothing can thwart his good and perfect plan, the reason I am afraid is because his plan might not be what I think is good. So I want to hold on to the keys as if I am the sovereign one. And yet there is such a relief in knowing I am not.
So, oh Lord, help me to trust you now. You were faithful to the Israelites and your promises are everlasting. That doesn’t mean easy, but I know you lead me along the right paths for your name sake. Show me your ways. Be my rock and my refuge. Give me peace and guide me in your truth so I can better believe what I say. Thank you that you care so deeply for my daughter that you know better than I what is best. Amen.
