No matter what our age, there are times we all feel insecure. Whether its attending a luncheon in which we know only the hostess, having a bad hair day, walking into the weight room where everyone else knows what they are doing, regretting an outfit choice, seeing the pictures of the fun girls’ night we weren’t included in (or worse, seeing what our child was left out of) insecurities and inadequacies often rule over us.
We compare ourselves to other people and wonder if we measure up. Sometimes we feel less than. We may feel dismissed. Or, purposelessness may plague us. No matter where we fall, we long for affirmation. We want to know we matter and to feel our worth.
Last weekend I spoke to a group of women on just this topic: Soul Worth. I chose it because without even realizing it, the restlessness we often feel is tied to our desire to be Somebody in a world where the secure identity we crave seems so elusive.
As stated in an earlier post, And The Soul Felt It’s Worth, our desire to know we matter and to feel our worth is not wrong. The problem lies in what we look to for our value and in how we try to fill the holes in our soul.
Believe it or not, the fact we have soul holes is NOT a result of the Fall. Sin is what leads us to fill the holes with things that can’t satisfy, but our incompleteness is not because of sin.
Our incompleteness is by God’s design in creation. He created us to live dependently on Him. And though we think of dependency as a weakness to be overcome, God called it good and determined wholeness would actually come by living in dependence of Him.
But we don’t turn to Him as the One who fills us and gives us life. We live as if life and our identity are tied to something greater or as if we need something more, so we chase after empty promises and temporary pleasures trying to stuff our sole holes to feel complete.
We strive to make a name for ourselves, to be noticed, to be the best, to do it all – and to do it all great. We turn to our own performance, appearance, approval, wealth, relationships, how we fair as a mom, how cute our child is dressed and how many ‘likes’ we get on our post as the basis of our worth. Heck, I even found myself fill with pride over the quality of my daughter’s graduation announcements and the cute labels for her sorority recruitment packets! Ugh – how crazy is that. But it happens all the time – we live as if something as insignificant as paper actually makes us look better in someone else’s eyes, leading us to feel more secure or like we have greater worth!
On the flip-side, my son is struggling in baseball this season and no longer bats at the top of the line-up. In fact, he’s last. Identity… right there; for him and for me. Is this the basis of his worth or mine? Of course not. But again, all the time we tie our worth to such trivial things and feel insecure about how others may view us because of it.
If only we really knew how Jesus is everything we are not, for us!
If Jesus lived the perfect life for me and traded identities with me at the cross that means God views me as He see Jesus – holy, perfect and righteous. Therefore to know who Christ is for me and who I am in Him is to know my true identity and to rest secure. I can be okay, no matter what anyone else thinks about me because of Christ’s worth and work for me.
Living according to God’s design in a dependent relationship with Him is how our heart is made whole and our soul knows its worth!
Kristen, how I wish I had understood this growing up and in parenting my now teenagers from the time they were toddlers to now! HOW did I “miss” this growing up in a Christian home, going to TCA, going to Kanakuk, sitting under the teaching of some great pastors, attending Westmont College, participating in countless Bible studies…..did I never hear it? Or perhaps more likely, have my spiritually blind eyes just finally begun to open?!?
I hear you! Sadly I just don’t think we camp out with justification! We view it as the one time act of being declared righteous and move on instead of seeing how our new standing in Christ is the basis of who we are and changes everything! There is nothing more applicable to our daily lives & situations, but you are right that is not what is typically taught and understood!!