For three weeks straight I have been coughing. I’ve done a Z-pack, gotten a steroid shot, and even a prescription cough medicine. Because it gets worse throughout the day and especially exacerbated by talking, I have not left home much these past few weeks.
Considering my grad school work this term, being home is exactly where I need be! But between the cough and grad school and a medical scare with our daughter**, I did not know how in the world I would be able to speak at a women’s brunch I spoke at yesterday. Or, even prepare for it.
The organizing lady at the church where I spoke had asked me to share what God has been teaching me over the last decade since moving to Oklahoma. To name a few of the recurring themes I keep bumping up against, my lack of self-sufficiency, God’s control and his faithfulness top the list. So all the interferences on my time over the last month I can see were by no coincidence. God has a way of keeping us dependent. I should know that by now!
What I wish I could tell you is that I’ve mastered, “do not be anxious about anything” and instead perfectly “trust God in all things.” But the truth is spiritual growth is not about mastering anything! It is growing in our awareness of our need of a Savior and becoming more regular (quicker) repenters. Even still, our spiritual journey is more like a wavy up and down line.
Just like the Israelites who constantly doubted God’s goodness along their journey to the promised land, we are no different. Sin and doubt cloud our vision and keep us from fixing our eyes on him. And despite his faithful promises, what we see is more real.
Through the years, God continues to show me where I functionally don’t trust him. Yes, I believe he is ruling and reigning over all things, but at any given moment I can become stressed by what I can not control. Unforseen circumstances and too much on my plate can send me into overdrive trying to manage all things. How easily I lose sight of this truth he keeps gently reminding me of, “My grace is sufficient for you, Kristen, and my power is made perfect in your weakness.”
When everything is going our way and there are no hurdles or hiccups, it’s too easy to fall back into self-sufficient living. How appropriate I think that he had me in this most uncomfortable position leading up to my talk. Almost as if to put an exclamation point on it all– which he did, in fact…
I thought my action of getting the steroid shot on Monday would control it, but no! By Thursday and then Friday, I was still coughing just as much. Saturday morning came and it was no different. I wasn’t sure how I could possibly get through a thirty minute talk. Up until this point I hadn’t gone that long without coughing at all.
I had asked a few people to pray about my cough, but was still expecting to cough my way through. I arrived at the church armed with cough drops. They weren’t helping. After an hour of visiting (and coughing), it was my time to speak.
I would say you won’t believe it, but if God can tell the wind to stop, why would he not be able to quell my cough too? And that is exactly what he did.
No coughing for those thirty minutes!! All my worry about not being able to control my cough, and what did he do, he instantaneously stopped it!
Immediately after I finished speaking I was back to coughing again. I coughed the whole way home and the rest of the day. But he gave me the reprieve I needed along with the once again reminders, that he is not only in control, but he is faithful and good.
Now I know prayers aren’t always answered like the way this one was. But the way I look at it, he could’ve taken away my cough days (weeks) ago and he didn’t. He waited until just the right time because then there was no mistaking for me, and for the ladies in the room, of his power and presence.
Thanks be to God for the most miraculous cough drop!! Even if only for a bit.
**To read more on the medical scare we went through with our daugher & God’s miracle healing with that, see my most recent newsletter. To receive future newsletters, subscribe here.
