Headlines yesterday on BuzzFeed read: An 18-Year-Old Instagram Star Says Her “Perfect Life” Was Actually Making Her Miserable
It’s the story of an Australian teen, Eseena O’Neill, who amassed over half a million followers over her high school years to become Insta-famous. In what appears to be carefree, candid photos she now reveals them to be the product of hours spent posing for the camera to get just the right body angle. Even the outfits and allure of her environment staged to create the facade of effortless beauty and fullness of life.
Sadly, this doesn’t shock me. It doesn’t shock me, because I see it all around me – tweens, teens and adults turning to social media and other avenues to gage their worth in an effort to fill the insatiable craving to be known, accepted, approved, affirmed and liked.
This is actually the story of all of us. We were created this way. But we were created to only have that “soul hole” filled by God. Turning to any other person or thing for our identity and worth will never satisfy and only leave us thirsty for more.
This is exactly what O’Neill discovered.
I was addicted to what others thought of me… I believed how many likes and followers I had correlated to how many people liked me. I didn’t even see it happening, but social media had become my sole identity. I didn’t even know what I was without it.”
O’Neill got what she was chasing after, but it was never enough to bring her contentment and joy. She always needed more, and the more “likes” she got, the more depressed she became. Until now. She has recently quit it all and is lifting the veil to expose her heart behind the pictures of perfection. Pictures, I have no doubt, that other girls made comments to the like of:
- “I want your life.”
- “You are perfect.”
- “Can I be you?”
Parents, have you seen comments like these?
Our kids, especially our teen girls, are buying into the lie that everyone else is perfect. The way they look, their wardrobe, their social life, their friends, their family, their family’s income, their vacations – it’s all subject to scrutiny in the way our teens determine if they measure up.
But what they don’t see (besides the fact that pictures don’t tell it like it really is) is the fallacy of trying to find an identity in anything other than Christ. Just like O’Neill discovered, emptiness and insecurity will rule us when our worth is attached to things that can’t give us value.
This is the premise behind the second book I have in the works and a topic I am passionate about because I have seen the road misplaced identity can lead to. Depression, lonliness, mental illness, eating disorders, substance abuse, cutting, promiscuity, sexual identity confusion, materialism, comparison, social media, bullying – these aren’t the real problems of our teens. These are the pointers to something deeper going on in their hearts.
As parents I believe our biggest opportunity in shepherding our kids before they go to college is to help them learn to deal honsetly with what is going on in their hearts (the root) and to find their most secure and unchanging identity in Jesus. This takes getting our stories straight so they can get their story straight, which is exactly why we must be fed a constant diet of Christ-satuarated preaching.
If you are unsure of why the doctrine of justification matters and how it impacts our thinking in relation to issues of identity, I would love for you to subscribe to my newsletter, as well as this blog. In the near future I will begin using my monthly newsletter as a way to deal more hands-on with how to apply the gospel in very real ways so we are better equipped to speak truth into our own hearts and into those of our children.
It’s easier to look at shiny and pretty things that appear happy than stopping and just getting real with yourself.” (O’Neill)
She is absolutely right. But until we go there, we don’t see how desperately we need Jesus to fill the void in our hearts with Himself.
For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowldge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6
Past posts related to social media, visit the social media archives.
