Our neighborhood uses a handy communications App for relaying information. Maybe yours does too? Topics include everything from notifications about debris pick up to recommendations for repair service and babysitters to event announcements for things like Bunko. It’s a great way to stay informed, and until recently has been nothing but beneficial, and cordial.
But then the issue of kids’ ding dong ditching hit. If you aren’t familiar – ding dong ditching refers to someone ringing the doorbell but running off before you open the door. Typically the culprits are elementary and early middle school kids in search of something to do.
When my daughter was in middle school, our house was a frequent Saturday night target of a group of mainly boys – I think they wanted our daughter to come outside – but I also think they loved having her younger brother come barreling out the door chasing after them. The interruption and commotion was frustrating for my husband, who spends Saturday nights in his home office working on the next morning’s sermon. But, really want can you do? They are just kids having fun, and this too shall pass.
Well, recently threats and complaints about Ding Dong Ditching have been popping up on the neighborhood App. I understand and agree that in the instances where the kids were trespassing into backyards, knocking on bathroom windows and scaring families, the deliquent behavior should be reported. For good reason, these families feared an intruder so requesting parents talk to their children about the danger and misbehavior is appropriate.
The problem lies in the tone and attacking nature of the continued online dialogue. From both sides it has become personal. While an apology would be benefical (and perhaps privately occured), I can see why a parent who knows their kids were involved wouldn’t want to speak up with all the condemnation and shaming. And for the ones casting judgment, oh, how easy it is to throw out the first stone when we are not to the same stage in parenting. Believe me, I have swallowed my words many times as my kids have gotten older and my own past judgmental heart toward older parents has come back to haunt me.
Truth is we can instruct our children in the ways they should go, but no matter what we say and do there is no guarantee they will always obey. They are, after all, sinners living in a fallen world, just like us. Which means we are all in the same boat and should be able to identify with one another. Moving toward one another with compassion and grace as we seek to understand.
While I’ve been unsettled over the Ding Dong Ditching responses, it wasn’t until the other day when a particular passage in my Colossians study clarified for me what is the deeper problem.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12-14
The problem is we are not compassionate, kind, patient, willing to bear with one another or extend forgiveness because we lack love. Yet throughout scripture we are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. Neighbors, not being limited to who lives in our neighborhood, but everyone – your co-worker, store clerk, stranger on the street and Syrian overseas.
We don’t do this so well. Although we have no problem loving ourself well. Our self love is what drives us. Just consider honestly how every decision, thought, feeling and priority come from thinking of ourselves first.
We may aspire to love God and others first, but how we really act and who we seek to serve first is often based on personal convenience and self-desire. We’ll serve or show up if it works in our schedule. And we get frustrated with our spouses and children when their agenda centers on what they want and not revolved around us. Again, we are all in the same boat!
But we are called to extend the same love we have for ourselves to our neighbors. To consider their feelings, needs, circumstances and desires as much as we think about ours! Ouch.
And we wonder why we can’t all live in harmony?
Peace starts with each of us loving our neighbor well. Imagine if that was our New Years Resolution – asking God to help us to love others better.
By His grace, as we see how much we need his forgiveness and love, we will give that same grace and compassion to others. Whether that means meeting tangible needs, putting ourselves in their shoes, walking alongside them in a dark season or seasoning our speech with love and not venom, because we are for them, and all in the same boat.
