I am excited to introduce my friend Holly Mackle as a guest blogger today. She is a new friend actually – we met at a conference this winter, but I feel like we’ve known each other far longer. She is the kind of friend I’ld call a “gospel friend” (as written recently HERE) because right from the get go masks came off. In her new book she speaks truth for new moms struggling to fake it ’til they make it. And while I know most of you, my readers, aren’t new moms I hope you will read what she has to say and consider how maybe you too need to let go of a facade, find a gospel friend and be pointed to Christ. Without further ado…
With Holly and my other new “gospel friend” Meg
After my first daughter was born, friends came out of the woodwork to bring meals. My heart swelled each time at their thoughtfulness and generosity. I didn’t cook for weeks.
“Casserole season,” as a friend calls it, meant short visits in the midst of the relative revolving door of homemade goodness. But for me, as a first time mama casserole season meant a whole lot of firsts, a whole lot of insecurities, and even more oppressive fearfulness.
So I took a note from Eve and I hid. Very few of those sweet friends who dropped by with a casserole saw beneath the veil of what was really going on in my heart, because I couldn’t lift it for them. I couldn’t risk showing them the constant fear and condemnation I was living under; I couldn’t let a tear slip. I had to be strong and pretend motherhood was bliss – the way it was supposed to be.
I didn’t show them what was really going on inside me, and as a result, they couldn’t point me to the truth of who Jesus is for me. If only I could have been brave…
Because of what I went through I want to help other mamas step out from under the stifling how-to’s of motherhood and the myth of perfection and step into transparency and the freedom found in Christ —it’s the whole reason I coauthored a new book, Engaging Motherhood, Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling.
Each of the other six writers of this study are super smart, highly capable woman with great ideas, interesting opinions, godly character, and visible evidence of the Holy Spirit’s active work in their lives…and every one of them struggled, as I did, with the transition to motherhood.
I say this to remind me, us, that things are not always what they seem. And this especially applies to the inexpressibly joyful, raw, sleepless, delightfully nuanced days of having a young child. And it’s surprisingly easy to hide when the attention is on a new little one.
Church, don’t miss the opportunity to love on a new mama’s heart. Don’t be afraid to look her in the eye and ask if she’s drowning. Know how they say the scary thing about drowning is how silent it is? Yeah, that. That’s what it was like for me.
God gave us motherhood in his good plan. He desired to reveal and represent his tender nature through us as women, pouring out what feels like every last drop we have in sacrifice for another. And if it sounds like the task requires everything, it’s because it does. It has certainly required more of me than I would have ever been able to give on my own, and my own two barely reach my hip. I don’t know how women do it unless they are walking hand in hand with the One True King.
Knowing deep down we stand before God on Christ’s record and not ours is a non-option. It’s the only way to get through the long days and short years. The sufficiency of our Savior is what we, as the writers of this new moms study, want to point to.
We want to point because evil wants to get in and have its way with this very tender, emotional, and often-trying time in a woman’s life. We want to tell them they are enough because he is enough.
New mamas are often begging for affirmation, but the cry is deeply covered by the scary newness of it all. As a result, many focus on figuring out the how-to’s instead of seeking answers to the deep questions at the core of what they’re really asking.
So if you know a new mama don’t miss the opportunity to love and squeeze on the precious new little life, and then look that mama in the eye, ask a hard question and point her to who Christ is for her. And if you are a struggling new mama my prayer is you will be able to lift the veil to let others in who will point you to the One who cups your face in his hands and says, “Focus, beloved. Fix your eyes on me!”
To order a copy of Holly’s book for you or as a great gift for a new mom, click HERE.
Join Holly and the other contributing authors for an evening of authentic conversation, encouragement and giveaways on the Engaging Motherhood Facebook page July 28th from 8-9pm CST.
Holly writes and gardens in Birmingham, Alabama. She is wife to David and mama of two flower-sneaking bitties. Alongside some dear friends, she is an author of the new moms study Engaging Motherhood: Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling (2016). Holly blogs life and tomatoes at diggingsuburbia.com and will be a regular contributor to the upcoming joegardener.com.
