I know the Lord is nigh,
And would but cannot pray,
For Satan meets me when I try,
And frights my soul away.
And frights my soul away.I would but can’t repent,
Though I endeavor oft;
This stony heart can ne’er relent
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Till Jesus make it soft.Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.I would but cannot love,
Though wooed by love divine;
No arguments have power to move
A soul as base as mine.
A soul so base as mine.I would but cannot rest,
In God’s most holy will;
I know what He appoints is best,
And murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.
Do the words to this song resonate with you? Is it your heart’s cry now? Have you felt this way before?
I love this song for its honesty and believe we can all relate. We all know what its like to struggle. We all doubt God’s goodness at times. We all question his presence. We all have been consumed by fear and restlessness. None of us always experience perfect peace. And frankly sometimes though we say “God is enough” it just doesn’t feel like it is. We wonder if he really loves us and if he does where is he hiding?
Lord, I believe, but help me with my unbelief.
Thankfully God is big enough to be okay with our struggles and doubts. He uses them even, to draw us to him. That is why I don’t have to pretend to him I don’t feel this way. And I don’t have to hide it from others out of fear they will think I’m not a “strong” Christian.
This may surpise you but a “strong” Christian is not someone who has it all together, performing perfectly, never doubting or falling into sin. No, a growing Christian (prefer that to “strong”) is the one who knows they are weak. The one who knows they need a Savior. The one who knows they must depend on him for all things – even the ability to believe what they say they believe.
So, yes, I do believe he is with me and I believe he works all things, even sin, for the good of his people. It’s just I still murmur and resist his holy will because what he appoints and his timing and his control is not mine. And what he calls “good” often looks alot different than what I think it should.
But his divine love will not let me go! Even in dark seasons he is near, whispering reminders of grace to help with my unbelief.
Now, Lord, help me to be still, to see and to believe. Thank you for hanging on to us even when we falter to cling tightly to you.
