Attention, Please!

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” Ann Voskamp

As with every time I read Ann Voskamp, many of the lines in her new book, The Broken Way, have fueled my thoughts. Certain sentences, I have read and reread, and then still continue to ponder- such as with the line above.

If our time is a gift more valuable than a monetary object than it makes sense that the giving of our attention would be the most virtuous form of generosity. Considering how frequently our attention is caught up in Self, it is not surprising though the giving of it is rare.

When Self is all we see, we miss being the gift of attention to another.

I’ve noticed this in myself, and see it all around me, which is why this particular line jumped out at me.  I mean, how can I generously, and genuinely, give attention to my son if my to-do list is taking precedence (even in my mind and not functionally) over whatever he is saying to me?

We certainly can’t give attention generously when we are consumed in our phones or tuned into our headsets? And what does that communicate to those in our midst?

Recently I listened to a video: On Millenials in the Workplace that  mentioned when young professionals today enter a conference room for a meeting they sit silently, each on their own phones, until the meeting begins. When the meeting adjourns they instinctually grab for their phones and depart. What’s missing in this type of culture is connection, interaction, attention to their co-workers. When this is the case they never hear from the women in the next cubicle about her sick parent she is caring for, or even learn what makes the guy down the hall tick. In this isolating, individualistic (self-centered) environment, attention is rare.

The precursor to what’s happening in the workplace is happening at our kids’ school lunch table, in carpools and even at social gatherings. As parents we need to help them see that their phone addiction is a self-obsession and also detremental to building right relationships.

But we too are guilty! Not just with our phones, self-living and the lack of attention to others surface in too many ways to count. We need to be willing, though, to see our selfishness for the sin that is. For starters…

• Do we devote ourselves to jobs, hobbies, charitable work, Bible studies even, to a level that makes our spouse or kids feel like they lack our attention? If so, are we willing to sacrifice self for their good?
• Do we care so much about what our house looks like that we fail to show hospitality? Or, are we too consumed with our own life to even think to extend an invitation to another?
• Are we so preoccupied over how we look that when we are with others we don’t give them our full attention because we are too busy comparing ourselves?
• Are we so into our own worlds that when we are with others we dominate the conversation with our stuff without ever entering in to their lives?
• Are we so self-focused we don’t see the needs around us: the newcomer longing for a friend, the struggling neighbor, the depressed co-worker, or the exhausted young mom?

We aren’t present for the people in our presence – in our homes, workplace, churches, schools and other communities – when we are consumed with self.

The cure for our selfish, sinful hearts is to fix our eyes on another – the One who experienced his own Father’s back (attention withdrawn) at the cross so we could always know the love, attention and mercy of the Father. Jesus gave up heaven to come down to a world set on self in order to free us from the bondage of Self.

Seeing who Jesus is for us – full of grace and mercy for self-centered people – should move us to be people full of grace and mercy. People who know their need of compassion have compassion for others.

So this Christmas as we spend time with others may we be fully present.  May we generously give the gift of attention for the good of others and to the glory of God. And may a self-giving lifestyle be what characterizes us into the New Year, as we set resolutions more focused on selflessness than self-seeking.

In the same way, the Son of Man did not come for other people to serve him. But the Son of Man came to serve other people. The Son of Man came to give his life to save many people.” Mark 10:45

A few past blog posts regarding teens & technology and identity issues you may find helpful:

• Who Are You Without Your Phone? 
• Who Am I.
• What Parents of Teenagers Need to Know

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