There he went. My youngest. Out of the driveway and around the corner, this time not just for a loop around the neighborhood. He’s a legal driver; Sweet Sixteen today.
I felt like sixteen would never come for my daughter (our oldest). At the time she was a swimmer and the pool where they practiced was across town so I was more than ready for her to drive herself. But she was the youngest in her class and didn’t drive until junior year.
When my second child got his license I was also ready. No more fighting school traffic or the dangerous high school parking lot. Even better, no more waiting on coaches notoriously inconsistent on practice end time.
But what I didn’t know then is getting a driver’s license is the beginning of fast-sweeping change!
Once you have a driver, being in the car with that kid is minimal, which means regular car time talks of yesteryear are few and far between. And recouping that time elsewhere is no easy task. That was especially true with our daughter who I felt like was always gone after she got her license.
What I learned is parents have to be creative and intentional about carving out time in the schedules. And sometimes this requires saying “no” to our on-the-go kids. Because what I also learned is that while I gained time chauffering around one less kid, the demands of school, extracurriculars and then all the applications and things that come with senior year means they have increasingly less time.
Related to intentionality, this comes into effect too with maintaining relationships with our kids’ friends’ parents. All of the sudden houses and neighborhoods I used to constantly be in I never went to anymore. Of course, dropping off and picking up kids didn’t mean I always saw the mom, but I was often in some communication about pick up time or something that led to further conversation.
Same can be said with carpooling. No more coordinating with other moms. No more kids in the car to listen in and learn things from:)
It’s a snowball effect- the driver’s license is.
With #3 child (my baby) driving, there is no one left who needs me. A little dramatic I know, but in a blink of an eye, kids go from being totally dependent to pretty independent. Of course, as we prepare to launch them this is good! And, I do love watching them grow in maturity, responsibility and who they are becoming. It’s just not easy. So even if I did complain in the past about always being needed and having activities every night of the week, now there is often too much evening free time, and not enough noise.
With #3 child driving, ready or not the acceleration to empty-nesterhood is underway. My baby was more than ready to hit the roads, but for this mom Sweet Sixteen came around way too quickly this time.
