A Lament: First Day of School With No School Kids

This morning I went for an early run, as I often do on days temperatures will creep up to the 100’s. But, it wasn’t until I saw a dad out on his front porch taking pictures of his girls that I remembered today was not just another hot summer day. Today was the first day of school in our district. I had to look away. And, not just then but again and again as it seemed every neighborhood street I rounded had parents and kids outside taking pictures.

For fourteen years of “first days” in our school district, at our same house, and seven “first days” before we moved to Oklahoma, I’ve taken pictures of my kids on our front porch. But today only one kid was even home—sleeping soundly for another few hours, on what is not only his last morning at home before he leaves for college, but his last morning at this home before my husband and I move to Texas.

Even though I am excited about the next chapter to come, I am a mess.

I will miss my boy—our third child who has spent the last two years as the solo child. Because of Covid interrupting his sophomore and junior years and concurrent enrollment his senior year, we are used to him being around even as social as he is.

I will miss the cars and trucks lining my street signaling a full house. And the teenagers who drive those cars and trucks who fill the house, even the loud boy voices and ping pong matches that wake me up at 2am. The dog will miss them too.

I will miss cooking for a family and sitting down together. I will even miss the half-full cups of Arizona sweet tea left out on the counter. I won’t miss my grocery bill though!

I will miss playing chess with my son at the dining room table, pool basketball matches and throwing the football with him out in the street.

I will miss the TV series we watch together (rewatching & finishing up Friday Night Lights today was brutal). And, I will miss the constant sports talk. Whatever will I do without knowing what 5-star recruit committed to who or which professional star was traded to what team!

I will miss putting on my Edmond North football shirts on Friday nights and cheering on my son. For that matter. I will miss not having any sports or school activities to be involved with. Even not getting emails these past few weeks from the school informing me about schedule pick up day and all the things was kind of sad. I still haven’t brought myself to unsubscribe from school-related Instagram accounts.

I will even miss the disastrously messy bedroom that kept me from going upstairs very often. Because at least it was a sign of life.

I will miss my job as mom, even though I know it never truly ends.

I will be okay. But for today, I miss what was and won’t ever be quite the same. And, I don’t think I’ll ever listen to Kenny Chesney’s “Boys of Fall” without tearing up.