3 Things For Your College Student Not To Forget

Four years ago when we took our daughter to college I was a wreck. I couldn’t imagine our lives without her home. Many of you are feeling that way now. As encouragement, you will find a new normal, but it does take time.

For me this time around, just a day now from helping our second child move into his freshman dorm, I’m more excited than sad. Not that I’m not sad — after 5+ months of spending extra togetherness time, it will be really weird without him here! But, after seeing how God used the four years of college (including some really hard things) to grow our daugher, I’m excited to see what God has for him. Plus, I know sending a kid to college does not mean our parenting is done!

I realized real quick after our daughter left that she still needed me alot! But, her windows of talking opportunities were usually smack dab in the day while she was walking to class, which was not typically my ideal time slot. (Just a head’s up if you’re new to parenting a college student). But even if your child is not talking your ear off, which for the record I do not expect my son to be, they need us to NOT stop speaking truth into their lives.

Not now! And if you haven’t been in the habit of heart-level talk, it is not too late. I’m telling you there are things they need to know and what YOU say or don’t say matters!

To highlight just one– They need you to talk to them about the hook-up culture. They need to know more than 50% of college sexual assaults occur the first six weeks of college. According to one recent survey, as many as 1 in 4 college females experience sexual assualt. For obvious reasons, alcohol leads to vulnerability. Girls and guys need to be aware of the seriousness of the consequences.

I know it’s not easy talking about such things (or even thinking about them), but we must. We can’t be naïve and we need to help our kids to not be either. They need to know their proclivity to sin, to be aware of their weaknesses and the temptations they will face. By God’s grace, knowing the reality of the world around them and the true condition of their hearts will increase their awareness of self and dependence on Jesus.

To this end, when my daugher left, I shared with her three things I hoped she would remember. It’s the same three things I want my son to know now. So as you gather up all the stuff so your college kid has everything he or she needs, I hope you’ll take time out to tell them three things:

1. Remember Who You Are
You are a Child of the King – Sons and Daughters. Accepted and Loved. Redeemed by a Savior. Declared Holy and Righteous according to Christ’s perfect record for you. He took on your identity so you could have his. This is your most sure Identity. An identity of infinite value and worth.

• So on those days when you feel inadequate, like a failure, worthless, alone – Remember who you.
• When you are beating yourself up over your sin and filled with shame and regret – Remember who you are.
• When you are tempted – Remember who you are.
• When you are looking to sorority/fraternity letters, a boy/girl, a friend group, a GPA, an experience to give you worth – Remember who you are.

Remembering who you are is knowing His performance merited your perfect standing so your imperfect performance won’t ever change that. Remembering who you are is not a license to sin, but an invitation to rest in the freedom of his grace.

2. Be Mindful of your Soul Holes
We all have a God-shaped hole in our soul that only God can fill. The problem is, ever since Adam and Eve believed Satan’s whispered lie that God was withholding something good from them, humanity has bought into the same lie. We seek after other things to fill us, believing happiness and “life” will be found.  Whatever those things are that take God’s place on the throne of our hearts are false gods that can never permanently satisfy.

False gods might be material objects, but more likely will come in the form of:

• Seeking affirmation and attention through social media, look-at-me-behavior, and outward appearance, including dressing in a way that shows off a “hot” body.
• An insatiable desire for acceptance and worth, evident in the way you look to secure it through identification with a certain Greek house or friend group.
• Craving affection, attention or love, made apparent by a willingness to cross boundaries by engaging in the hook-up culture.
• Falsely attaching worth to performance causing things like grades and leadership to become idols.

Good things become false gods when we make them ultimate things, turning to them for security and worth. We must be aware of heart motives, why we do the things we do and how we try to plug the soul holes. Seeing sin and acknowledging it honestly is a good thing because it is there that we see we need for Jesus and live more dependently on him.

3. Unite Yourself to the Body
To live dependently on Christ includes connection and commitment to his bride, the church, which he gave to us as a gift.

• Apart from his word and his people we will drift away. It is imperative that we regularly place ourself under gospel preaching and teaching. It is our life-line and food for the soul – even in and especially right now during COVID.
• We need other believers involved in our lives – not just peers but older people who will come alongside as mentors and speak truth.
• There are also people who need you – your gifts and talents. Don’t view the church as what it can do for you, but how you can invest and serve others. Not just when you are older, but now. Look outside of yourself and your own world and invest and serve the body you plug into.

Anything else my son forgets I can get to him or he can go buy. But these three things, I pray he won’t ever forget.